Thursday, August 20, 2015


Reach a point where life is too hard.  Bound by duty and love of others to put one foot ahead of the other and repeat.  And repeat. 
People say they love me.  I believe them. But they don't give me what i desperately need.  I don't ask for riches. I don't ask for hard things. All i ask for is love the way I'd like it. I'm not not asking for hardship from anyone. Is respect a hardship. Is touch a hardship. 
How did i get to be so old and never find anyone to love me as I'd like. I can only think after two marriages and four kids it must be somehow my fault but i don't know what i did.  I don't know how to make it better and i don't know how to face tomorrow without a clue that the test of my life will be any better.