:-)

So we have just a day and a bit left of our two weeks together.
Friday is going to be hard. I would love to talk to other people who have met after a long time of internet friendship.
The most common question has been ' is he like you expected'. Well the truth is, I thought I knew him and now I know that I did.
I don't want him to go back home!

.............

......

I sat for a while trying to  think of a title for this blog. And I can't do it. One word can't sum it up and a sentence won't either so I will just have to write the story.

In February 2007 my brother went out riding his bicycle at about 6:30am and became a paraplegic not long after when he was hit by a car.

Well his life was turned upside down on that moment. Our family's was. I can't claim to have suffered like Michael, or Gabrielle or their kids or Mum and Dad- but it was one of those times when suddenly I saw everything differently.

I couldn't go to church anymore because I just cried. And after 43 years of being a very good Catholic, suddenly I wasn't. And no one came to look for me. I find one fact as startling as the other. So I mourned for my lost faith as well. It wasn't that I wanted to believe, I just missed it. I wished I could pray for Michael to get better. It made me happy when people told me they were praying for him. I was happy for  them to have that faith. I missed mine, it had helped define who I was.

Stripped of my faith - it was like a river no longer contained by its banks. I had been following the only course and suddenly I was - free.

Not irresponsible. Not without care. But I was free to look at my life and see what was working and where I was and where I was heading and decide if that was going to make this life worth living.

The casualty was my marriage. For a decade I had felt alone in it. I had not been nourished by it and I felt I had given everything for it. We probably both felt exactly the same way, except I had no feelings left for it at all. Now, having seen Michael nearly lose his life, it was important to me to grab the life I had left.

The coincidence is that in 2006 I had stumbled into an online world. And became Audrey. The amazing thing is that while other people used their avatars to be someone else, I used mine to be me! And I loved it. I loved being me. Probably this is what all those American analysts mean when they say love yourself.

I was astounded to find that people liked to be with me. I had been so lonely in my marriage that I had long since stopped believing in myself. I think my ex-husband believes even less in himself, so he has never been strong enough to hold up my saggy ego.

All this was bubbling along at or just beneath the surface of my life. And then I met Mark. There is a story of meeting him for the first time but the thing I remember most clearly was hoping to meet him again. He intrigued me.  We played together in Fathom, my twilight island. We played with Xavier, and Des and Reese and Eleanor and perhaps Corcosman even wandered by?
I know I told him I had no interest in pursuing a 'relationship'. But I got used to the tiger who came and sat with me and watched the moon rise.

And now in 36 days time - three and a half years later - he is coming to visit.

Moving On

Good Bye Audrey
I think it is over.
My RL is looking good. New job and the new home well on the way now.
I think it is going to be good times for a while now. Cross my fingers
Good bye to all who made SL a very special time for me
x

Hiccups

Ahhh I have the hiccups... so I am bobbing in my chair as I type today! Are they a metaphor? In a little while will all the hiccups go away if I am patient?
So it is Saturday morning:
I have sent my dear Taz off to bed and am now fiddling with blogs, bunnies and will soon join D2 in Wizard 101.
I spent a little time at the Pirates and Zombies RFL dance but I simply couldn't locate the donation jar. No idea what kind of blindness I was suffering from!
And now I am uploading a few photos of the progress on the home front. I still haven't received my settlement but the builder has started without even waiting for his payment. Trusting fellow. It is totally exasperating that I can't pay him. I am trying to view it as a hiccup. It will all be good eventually and won't kill me in the meantime!

RL and SL

Welcome to Suburbia!

This has been excruciatingly slow. I guess everyone who has done it will have their own stories about the difficulties of separating from a spouse. No need then to catalogue mine here. Today I got served notice by the government land authority to finalize the sale in 14 days or else. It's not my fault
sigh

Never the less! I am feeling optimistic! I think I should have things sorted before 14 days. I really do! And the builder isn't even going to wait for the land to be in my name! He has paint marks on the ground and an excavator booked to come dig my block.


My dining room is now more than 2 layers deep. I really am ready now. The time it will take to build will be exciting and agonising because I am so ready for the next thing.

SL is really about my 6th life these days. I check the bunnies and pay tier and that's about it. Taking this photo caused me to crash twice.
I gave another online game a shot. This is me as a wizard. It held my attention for a couple of days but honestly without the building component, it just doesn't ring my bells. I have run up and down streets fetching messages for the wizard world and casting spells but... it isn't SL My name in there is Grace Spellsomething or another. Should be Ghrace Spell Badly

Judo

Hello!
Well over the weekend, I think it was Friday I got a tap at my IM window and it was Miss Magz. She wanted to know if I was still making tiny clothes and if she could commission a tiny Judo set. I just can't make myself say no as I do love a project. I knew I would be too busy with RL for the first day or so, but come Sunday I was ready to flex my stiffened building muscles. I crashed around about 14 times.

sigh

but finally the tiny Judogi was made. I am putting it out as a Swagtastic offering in Raglan this coming weekend and then it will join my regular stock

Pendulum Swings

Sighs heavily. I was 5th out of 42 for the job I went and interviewed for. They did say it was for several positions, but they have offered and have been accepted the first and there is no talk of any more immediately.
The land sale has hit a snag. The property settlement for me to leave this house to be able to buy the next has gone a lot slower than my lawyers could have expected and so it isn't ready. i face large penalties if i do not have the funds.
It is rather exasperating.
Add to that a full moon that is making the vast majority of everyone round me (and including me) act like lunatics....
I bet one day the only time I will blog will be full moons!

Oh!
Turn your blog into a book
My friend Sylvia has turned a year worth of her blog into a book. It is completely sensational. I so badly would love to have this blog made into a book! Mostly the early times before I lost some of my SL Zing! but it would be lovely to be able to pick it up and flick through all the photos and stories.
Sylvia is the queen of blogging. her book is full of the most wonderful photos of food, friends and stitching
Sylvia's Blog